Sometimes it seems like certain seasons last forever. Barrenness is upon our home right now. Our children suffer because they want a baby to live in their house (everyone else had a baby brother or sister). My husband suffers because he sees his family's disappointment and he wants a little baby to hold. But Mommy....she SUFFERS. Yearning for what God created me to yearn for. Longing to fulfill his command of fruitfulness while not being able to for unknown reasons. Seeing other receive God's blessing of children. Witnessing couples take their fertility for granted. Repeated hope and then disappointment. Every. Single. Month.
Peace is a distant land from this sea of sorrows. I once heard RC Sproul say heart break only comes after a heart has hoped for something only to be let down. I have a broken shattered heart. I am crushed beneath the weight of this pain.
Would you pray for me? For our womb? For our adoption? Things look bleak at this time and this mother's heart can't take much more pain.
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